If you need me I’ll be sleeping and not getting trampled.
1. Getting your teeth cleaned.
2. Trimming your toenails.
3. Trimming your dog's toenails.
4. Emptying all the trash cans in the house.
5. ...And then the trash bag breaks and you get trash juice all over your feet.
6. Listening to your great-aunt describe her latest medical procedure.
7. Trying to explain the cultural impact of Beyoncé to your dad.
8. Folding a full laundry load of fitted sheets.
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9. Filing your taxes.
10. Watching a golf tournament.
11. (In person, when it's drizzling.)
12. Waiting for a YouTube video to buffer.
13. Reading all the comments on a viral YouTube video.
14. Checking your entirely full voicemail inbox.
15. Having to pee in Midtown Manhattan.
16. Putting on jeans you haven't worn in a while and they like SORT OF fit but really not that well and you're super uncomfortable for the rest of the day.
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